New Year with new Spiritual Awakenings

New Year and New Beginnings

It’s a New Year and in this year there are going to be many more Spiritual Awakenings. Those that will follow in the footsteps of others such as myself, it’s very clear. As people begin see their Traumas and Childhood wounds and recognize them. That they then can face the challenges and difficulties connected directly to their unhealed wounds.

I would start by saying my Spiritual Awakenings (yes plural). Have come directly from major events in my life that were devastating to me. A moment that shakes your very foundation and destroys everything to the core. In my case the first Spiritual Awakening came from Heartbreak. Having to walk away from a women I had in essence, given my whole heart to loving more then even myself.

That betrayal and heartbreak pushed me into a position of reflection, introspection, and shadow work. At a time I had just begun seeking Therapy and Counselling. It is no surprise to me, that my Spirit Team was already at work giving me signs. We used to frequent Chapters book stores, I had purchased several books over the months leading up to our breakup. Books I had not read, that later became very relevant to my situation and recovery moving forward.

Breaking Points

A few months after, the relationship ended. Began growing increasingly angry filled with rage, as I was reflecting back on decades of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. I had endured and kept hidden repressed and suppressed. Afraid to speak out and shut down from the trauma and years of Narcissistic abuse. My emotions were beginning to surface after opening up to my councilors, as often survivors that leave survival mode encounter.

Anger is a natural, normal, and perfectly healthy emotion. It’s a great indicator of when you’re not being treated fairly. What truly matters with your anger is what you do with it. Transmuting it to something positive by exercising is a great outlet.

The Thirst for knowledge

These books contained invaluable information to me directly. I will preface this by saying I knew who the authors of these books were. My intentions were to read them previously but never got around to it. I had no prior understanding of exactly what the content of their works were. For example some the books I purchased on our dates were…

Each of these books provided me valuable insights to my own suffering. As in Dante’s Inferno I understood the nature of my own suffering. Meditations the journals of Marcus Aurelius were works of Stoicism. While I Ching provided me with the Hexagrams. No not Hexes from Wicca, rather 64 hexagrams in the I Ching. That represented a unique energy or situation, capturing various aspects of human experience.

Perception Changes

For those that do not know Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy. It flourished in Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. The Stoics believed that the practice of virtue is enough to achieve eudaimonia: a well-lived life.

There was a time just prior to beginning my counselling I was experiencing paranormal activities inside the household residence. I had been seeing shadows moving on the walls, sometimes catching glimpses of tall shadowy figures in my peripheral vision. That disappeared when I would turn and look directly at where I had glimpsed them.

I would often dismiss these signs as I was just seeing things. Maybe that I had just been moving my head to quickly, catching something else in my line of sight. It just temporarily fooled my line of sight or brain. I would mention here I am not a drug addict or alcoholic. It wasn’t until about a week or two after many of these events. That’s when I began experiencing objects in the house moving on their own.

The Normalization of Strange Occurrences

Items in the Galley kitchen set all the way to the back of the counter tops. Would suddenly and for no reason fall onto the floor. The first 2 or 3 such occurrences I had not directly witnessed myself. Rather I heard a noise from the office desk and went to investigate the sound. Only to locate items on the floor, It wasn’t long before I captured objects moving in front of me. Some even flying off the counters and the kitchen table on their own.

Strange occurrences were becoming more normalized. At one point my Dog had ended up outside of the house on his own in the backyard. When I questioned everyone that had been in the house that night. They were either unaware or were sleeping in other parts of the house. Opening the tightly closed outside door, finding him waiting in the darkness of the backyard, alone.

I also began hearing voices, which began to greatly concern me. This had me believing I was developing some form of mental illness. As with most people, fear gripped me tightly. I became more and more disturbed by the nature of the things I would hear the voices saying. It was more like a conversations about me rather than anything directly spoken to me.

What’s up Doc?

This is when I began contacting Crisis Counsellors as I was becoming more concerned about the potential of schizophrenia. I knew there were links between pre-adolescent usage of Marijuana and schizophrenia. As such my primary focus being that I used marijuana as a youth had me under this thought process.

As most are, I felt like I was going crazy and knew that I couldn’t continue my life this way. It was becoming increasingly evident these events were gaining momentum and strength. I went to counselling and after explaining about my concerns to my councilor at the time. A man with many masters degrees. Indicated he felt the auditory hallucinations were the result of C-PTSD from decades of trauma and not schizophrenia.

Although, he did caution me he was not a doctor and I would need an actual diagnosis from a Psychiatrist. Someone with a PHD to confirm his suspicions. A diagnosis I did in fact receive from a Psychiatrist months later. I was not schizophrenic but in fact suffering from decades of repressed and suppressed trauma.

The paranormal events had been ongoing and continued throughout this period of time. Eventually they culminated in one specific event, attacked in my bed one night trying to sleep. At first, I was not sure if this shadowy figure or figures. It was hard determine if it was more then one. Was it merely something I had dreamt? or imagined? or was it really happening in the 3D world.

The search for answers

At this point I was unsure what was occurring. Often tended to look for logical explanations to everything in the world around me. Never given to believing supernatural events were real. I would point out though I was raised a Jehovah Witness, I was not a practicing witness and had not been since I was very young. I never really believed in mysticism, tarot, magic, fortune telling or anything else of the Spiritual Realms or divinity. Thinking it was nothing more the hokum and superstitious nonsense.

After a few more sessions with a Crisis Counselor I was referred to a private clinic for treatment and therapy. Something I endorsed as I was committed to the path of bettering myself. Hoping it would end the auditory hallucinations. I did much soul searching as part of the self work. I was turning around and facing my past, it was very ugly and I will spare the gory details.

As a result of my counsellor and others. I had already begun learning unguided meditation, journaling, researching everything I could about complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). Preferably an avid researcher when it comes to learning about any topic. I don’t take information from any single source. Instead I rely heavily on cross referenced sources from multiple experts in the field of study.

I discovered in my research that meditation. Meditations are some of the only activities known to help regenerate damaged neural pathways. I would point out abuse of any kind causes damage to the central nervous system. Especially emotional abuse, such as narcissistic abuse.

The Road to kal’Hyah

This being the case I committed to a regime of meditation and incorporated it in my daily routine moving forward. At one point reflecting late at night I began to break down. I was overcome with the emotions of sadness and grief. Praying to almighty god Jehovah and asked for help.

I didn’t receive 1 message, in fact I received 2. The only way I can describe what happened that late night was an out of body experience. One that I could clearly tell where my body was. Outside in the yard but that my essence, being, or mind whatever you want to call it. It was detached from my body floating and being taken somewhere else.

This place my mind, soul, or essence was taken to was very dark, pitch black, blacker then black. Cold and alone, all I heard in my mind were the words “follow the path” which I could barely see. I walked or rather stumbled through this darkness. I was attacked by demons and things I couldn’t see. It was perhaps one of the most harrowing and frightening experiences of my life.

I get goosebumps thinking about this event even after 2 years. It still something so strong in my memory I wont ever forget it. I don’t even half to refer back to my journals of the time to remember each moment of it.

This path guided me through dark forests, swamps, mountains and valleys of darkness. Filled with creatures or entities I couldn’t see but could detect moving in the darkness around me. Each step along the way was another test, and each test was predicated off of the seven deadly sins.

Tests of Conscience & Moral Value

Most of these tests I passed with relative ease, although, each was administered by a different demon or dark entity. They did not speak directly to me but merely directed me down a path that I followed. The only one of these tests to nearly kill me along this path, was Pride. I refused to ask others for help and at one point I was nearly swallowed in a Swamp. Perhaps a dark water of a lake of some kind? I felt a hand gripping one my ankles and begin dragging me into the water.

As I was pulled under I held my breathe for what felt like an eternity. Until it felt like my lungs were about to burst. Just as I was about to give up and couldn’t hold my breath any longer. I thought to myself in what felt like a vein or silly act “why doesn’t anyone help me?”

At that very moment I was released and sprung to the surface gasping for air. I took a moment to compose myself and dragged myself onto the path. As I stood up onto my feet in the darkness. I began to see light from a far distance away in crevice of a valley. The path was becoming illuminated and it was now easy to see the path. From where I was to where I was being directed.

Reaching inward to your Higher-Self

When I reached the valley I discovered in the heart of it was a being of light. As weird as it may sound it was a faceless, featureless being of golden light. Looked very much like Golden statue you might find on an award or trophy. It was vastly taller then me. I would say perhaps 5 or even 6 times my height, I stand at 6’0 tall.

It spoke to me saying I had come a very a great distance. That I still had much to heal. Not to worry I would be provided guidance in my journey ahead. That I had shown what was truly in my heart and soul. It was a good heart, I was worthy of what was coming in the future days. Not to fear or despair. As I put my faith in God and he would not let me down or let me falter.

There would be more tests along my path. To let go of anything or anyone that was holding me back from moving forward. Nothing should stop me from following along the path that was meant for me. To put trust in myself. That I needed to be aware there would be those that could not come with me on this path.

Returning on a new path in the 3D

I then recall becoming very light, a feeling of floating almost. I returned to my body outside of my home and found myself next to my dog in the yard. The following days the heaviness of my emotional state, sadness, grief, and pain, was replaced. With a new found feeling of confidence that I could do anything, that nothing would hold me back except myself.

This experience had profoundly impacted me, I began seeing signs and synchronicities timing and events were coinciding with numbers. 11:11, 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, and so on became normal occurrences. I began to research angel numbers and see the signs everywhere I went. I no longer believe in coincidences everything requires energy.

Tower moments and Revelations

It wasn’t until this point when I was guided to start following Tarot Readers on TikTok. Than I became aware of what is called the Dark Night of the Soul. This is when I realized that my Spiritual Awakening wasn’t accidental. It was precipitated by a Wiccan who was performing Black Magic spells to attack me.

The very first rule of Wicca is to NEVER cast at or on someone without their direct consent. Consent is an absolute requirement for any casting. Likewise Tarot readers should be warned in advance you do not read other peoples energy without their consent. There are rules to which all must adhere even in the Spiritual Community. There are most certainly guardians in the 5D realm.

One of my Narcists had a half sister who was a self proclaimed Wiccan. It’s a firm belief that as a result of the slander and projections. She had taken it upon herself to begin casting on me. It’s still unclear to me whether it was because of this event or because of the self work. That I had unlocked my Spiritual Gifts, perhaps even the meditation.

Radical Acceptance of the Unbelievable

The voices I was hearing mentioned previous. Was actually a combination of Auditory hallucinations from repressed trauma and a result of Clairaudience and Clairvoyant abilities. They had start to become active.

It wasn’t until this point in time that I began accepting that this was really happening to me. One of the biggest steps I’ve ever taken. Radical Acceptance. Was the key to embracing my Spirituality and beginning to work with Crystals, Candles, Incents. All of the like to help heal myself from the damage done.

My thought process became if Black Magic and the like can be used to target and hurt me. Than white magic is fair game to help protect and heal. Later in my research I found that narcists will attack their victim’s on every level they can. Financially, Physically, Emotionally, Psychologically and later in my case Spiritually.

As I continued to meditate and do the self work necessary for my healing. It became more evident that I had these gifts long before I even acknowledged them.

Reflections and Premonitions

Reflecting back I could see the premonitions I had, for example just before my 16th Birthday. I had a startling and vivid dream that woke me in my exacerbated state. At the breakfast table that morning I was describing it to my mother. Saying “I don’t know when or where, but there will be an attack in the United States. Many people will die and they will go to war.”

9 days later, September 11th, 2001 I was suddenly awoken early in the morning by my mother yelling very loudly. I came running out to the living room as she was saying a plane hit a building in New York. Just in time to watch the second plane hit the second tower live on TV.

Thinking back and reflecting on these premonitions. I’ve had many of them that pertained to only my life or those directly in it. Even now I have journals predicting my Ex-Girlfriend and I would break up. Prior to these events as I had dreams of her leaving me for someone else. 12 days before our break up, that largely was responsible for triggering my Dark Night of the Soul.

Knowing you’re not alone

Part of the reason for this post is that there will be many that follow me. Others in their Spiritual Awakenings and Activations. It is vastly helpful to know you are not Crazy, You are not Schizophrenic, You are not Delusional. These things can and do happen. As the Earth moves into an elevated position of high vibrational alignment. More people will begin experiencing these events as well.

I will state here you should always seek Counselling, Therapy or Consult doctors. If you suspect you maybe experiencing any type of mental health condition. Even Spiritual Awakenings are a type of Psychosis and most people that undergo them are typically the recipients of trauma. This post is not about giving advice.

Understand if you are one of these people that you are not alone. There are many of us that have and will experience these types of events. Often those that have been through the most trauma or damaging things in this world. Often are chosen to be elevated by God and assisted by Angels.

This is because they are used as examples of the divine influence on the Earth. Some of the most powerful Empaths, Angelic Souls, Spiritualists, Mystics. Even others are often targeted by the enemy prior to their spiritual awakenings.

The Enemy and Red Flags

If you research it you will find Narcistic people are often open to demonic influence. They channel negative energies, whether for the purpose of harming others in Malignant Narcissism. Even just as a byproduct of their behaviors such as heavily drinking. They are called spirits... for a reason.

They also typically chose men and women of Influence. Powerful Positions, or those that are strongest emotionally or psychologically as their targets. Narcistic people have the most to gain from them and derive great satisfaction from either controlling them or destroying them.

Narcists are ruled from a place of Ego. They lack empathy for anyone else, you will find them predominantly amongst nihilists or criminal enterprises. These groups activities and traits typically attract other dark or negative energies.

Things to Keep In Mind

2 Things to keep in mind for those newly activated in Spiritual Awakenings

Once you put on the magic glasses (You will know what I mean) there is no going back. Your perception of the world and your & others place in it, will forever be changed.
You cannot force others to wear the glasses, and you can never take them off.

Be aware and mindful of the company you keep and the energies you surround yourself in. As your environment has direct impact and influence on you. Keep it tidy, clean, and regularly cleanse yourself and your house. Dark and Negative people will often come across initially as good or decent people. Sometimes masking themselves as soulmates, or friends. It’s only later once you gain insight into their behaviors. Then you will begin spotting them for who they truly are.

May God stand between you and harm in all the dark places you must walk.